One moves out and the other moves in!

There has been so much going on in my life lately! I went on my first missions trip to Cambodia and as soon as I can figure out how to post my pics I will. I took some really good ones. I've had to say good bye to one ministry and hello to another. My best friend and I are staring in our first ever radio show called "The Imperfect Wives" on Blog Talk Radio via CWA this Tuesday. I'm in the midst of a health scare. We are praying the doctors are wrong and I will be fine. And, Bill is in the process of retiring from the Navy. But with all this going on, the thing that has my attention the most is what's going on in the lives of our twins.

Bobby (the oldest twin by a minute and believe me when I say he claims it to the max announced he was moving out a year ago You can catch up on the story here September into his girlfriends home. She was pregnant and we were becoming grandparents. Wow!! I can't believe it has been just over a year. My heart broke that day in ways I didn't know it could.

This past Monday Bobby called and asked if he could move home. I had no clue what to say so I told him he would have to talk to both his dad and I before he could. It's not that I didn't want him to move home. My heart leap at the possibility. I knew I needed Bill to be with me when we talked. Bill and I needed to talk, not that we haven't already. We have actually talked about it a few times once we began to see the signs that he may want to come home. Ground rules had to be agreed upon and in place.

Bobby shared his heart and we shared ours. The ground rules were set on both sides and Bobby moved home yesterday. The twister in all this is Troy announced on Tuesday that he wanted to move out. Ok, a girl can only take so much in a week. We think Troy wanted to do this because he knew his brother needed to be home with us. Troy is a more serious type. He has a good job and is in collage full time. Though they are twins they are worlds apart in every other way!

The big moves took place yesterday. Troy moved into a friends house and Bobby moved into Troys room. When I woke up this morning it felt like Christmas.. You know that feeling of excitement when you can't wait to get up because you know the one gift you wanted the most is sitting under the tree? That's how I felt this morning. My gift was safe and sound asleep in his bed in our home. I'm sad that Troy decided to spread his wings and move out but I know he will be fine. He's just a few miles away. He never has been able to go to far from his mom. My boys have to grow up and I have to let them. With God by my side I know I can do this..


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Blessing Me First!

I woke up this morning with a feeling of great excitement, anticipation and butterflies in my tummy. I gave my day to God and tried to rest in His Word and not allow the butterflies to get the best of me.

There are times when God will tell me that something good is going to happen in my day. Often times the butterflies in my tummy are for other people in my life, usually when I have been praying for someone and God is letting me know they have a break through coming. However, this time I knew it was for me! As we listen to Gods voice, we learn His heart and begin to flow with Him. I knew God was about to do something and He had me in mind!

Can you imagine my day and how it went? I had to tell my heart a few times to relax and continue my day as normal. But this was big, my heart kept telling me so.

Nothing out of the ordinary happened that morning. It was a pretty uneventful though good day. Things were falling into place.

Then, with one phone call, my days takes a turn. My Daddy was on the other end of the phone. This is how the conversation went:

Daddy~ Pumpkineater, can I get the address to your district office so I can send you a check for your Cambodia trip?

Me~ sure daddy... I give him the address..

Daddy~ We are going to send you $700! $500 for the trip and $200 for you to spend while there.

Me~ what? Daddy you don't have to send me that much!

Daddy~ I know but we want to.. If I don't bless my daughter first I have no right to bless anyone else!

I was stunned first then in tears.. Not just at the amount of money my daddy is sending but that he feels he needs to bless me first.

He blesses everyone around him. He always has. I have watched him give to others so much over the years. If he has an extra car (he does often) he will bless someone with it who needs one. He gives money to those in need when God tells him to because he believes the Word whole heartedly.

The reason this statement means so much to me is because my Daddy and I have only been restored for 7 years. You can read "Breaking Down Walls" for the background of this story. God is in the restoration business. My daddy and I are living proof of this!

I however have only asked my daddy for something one time, when I was in 11th grade. We made the volley ball nationals heading to Tenn and I was first string. I had saved all but $70 to pay for my trip. I asked my daddy for the first time if he could give me the money. His then wife said no so he said no as well. I was heart broken because his NO meant so much more to me then he understood at the time. God still provided the money I needed but I was left hurt on so many levels.

Fast forward 20 plus years.. I called my Daddy to ask for help with this trip. Though God has restored our relationship it was hard for me to ask because the emotions from 11th grade came flooding back. I didn't want to be rejected by him again. By his answer I learned that my Daddy loves me and finds me precious. How sweet his voice when he shared his thoughts for me. This statement was so much louder than the $700.

My Daddy wants to "bless me first"! I couldn't have asked for a sweeter gift from God than this one. And as far as the trip goes, I now have $1300 left to raise. Not so daunting a task since I started with $3700. God brought a scripture to my heart;

"By the God of your father who will help you, And by the Almighty who will bless you With blessings of heaven above, Blessings of the deep that lies beneath, Blessings of the breasts and of the womb." Genesis 49:25

One last thought; I just realized my daddy gave me $70 times 10. I wonder if this has crossed his heart as well?

Thank you Lord for a wonderful Daddy, who loves his daughter beyond measure. Only you can restore the broken hearted!

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My emotions are everywhere!

28 days and counting. This is the amount of days I have to get ready for my first missions trip, ever! I'm nervous is an understatement. There are so many things going on in my mind.

Will I have enough money raised in time for the trip? I still have $1800 to go.

Will the pilots fall asleep during our 14 hour flight from Cali to Singapore?

Will our luggage make it with us?

What am I going to say to the ladies at the Women's Conference?

How am I going to react when I see the "Killing Fields" for the first time?

What have I got to say that can make a difference in their lives?

How do I talk to married women who's husbands have 5 wives at least?

What is God going to show me while I'm there?

What can I do to help the Doctors and Nurses during the medical part of our mission there? I'm not a Doctor or a Nurse.. though I can kiss and bandage booboos.

I've never had someone interpret for me. Can I slow down enough for her to understand me?

Can I love on these people and leave them so easily?

So many things are going through my mind. I do have faith that God is going to provide the rest of the money needed, not just for me but for the rest of our team.

If I sound overwhelmed it's because I am. I feel so out of my league on this. I have never gone over seas before to a country that is so impoverished the families live in cardboard and tin house. Where the income for the family is 50 cents a day and made mostly by their children. All of this is the norm for them.

My emotions are everywhere. Even so, I know my God is with me and His Will will be done in Cambodia.

Trusting in my Savior,

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Getting a New Look!!

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Way to busy for me!

It's been a while since I have posted anything. My life has become so busy. My husband is getting ready to retire from the Navy. Our son is having a baby, well his girlfriend but you know what I mean. I am still walking and believeing for Sam's complete healing! Our other twin, Troy, is in Europe for 12 days. Poor kid is more worried about getting us something than he is about just relaxing and enjoying what God has created in places he has never set eyes on before.

Work wise, my days are as crazy as any one persons day can be. I'm up at 5:00am most mornings spending some time with God.. I so need this to start my day. Bill leaves at 5:30 and I get to enjoy the house quiet until 6:00am when the first of 6 little ones invade my day. At 6:15 I have to get Sam and James (our youngest) up for school. Sam has to have a bath ( she is in diapers still) and her hair done of course.. In between getting her ready I have to call James at least 4 times to get up. Sam's bus comes at 6:35 and James at 6:41. Then the house is quiet again for the most part. My first to little ones are watching Curious George. I have a few minuets to make a cup of tea and pray.. At 7:15 my next little one comes in. Then at 7:30 another one.. Whew that makes 4. by 8:00 my last two and my helper Mary come in and my day is off and running. In between the kids, breakfast, lunch (I take care of all food that is consumed and the cleaning up after them) I'm upstairs working tring to put as much time into my second job, my position as the AG District Women's Ministry Director, Praying Wives Club, and SALT (of course), as I can. Lots of phone calls and planning going on plus counseling.. God has given me a hand full of ladies to council each day. I love counciling women. I think it's one of favorite times of the day.

By 4:00 I'm back down stairs and spending time with our little one (the are a highlight of my day) and helping Mary get them ready for their parents. by 5:00 starting dinner. By 6:00 everyone is gone and Bill and our kids are home! Dinner, baths, a family game of monopoly or what every the kids choose and it's now 8:00. Sam has to be in bed by 8:00pm to cut down the seizures and then the house has to be as quiet as possible to keep her asleep so she does not wake up which causes the seizures. It's a pain but we do this because we love Sam and don't want to the cause of another seizure, though sometimes it doesn't matter how much we do she still has them. Arghh!!

Dishes have to be done now.. seems they refuse to do themselves, and the house has to be cleaned again. I clean my home at least 4 times a day. I have to with so many people here each day.

By the time I have completed everything it's 9:30 and I am dog tired and in need of my bed (you know what I mean). I realize that blogging is therapeutic for me. It allows me to get my thoughts out. Not that any one else would want to read them but it helps me make sense of my crazy life. I think I need to take a long look at my days and see how I can better organize my self so I can have some me time.. more time to read (I love reading but don't have near enough time anymore to do this), more time to spend with God ( I do a good job with spending time with Bill, Sam, the twins and James but feel I need to work on this one).

I wonder if other wives find them selves in the same place I have. My routine so routine that I am getting frustrated with my every day life! For now, I think I will take a walk with my husband and just breath.



You Dance Over Me!!

I was reading the blog of our first pastor (as a family). He wrote on Luke 15 giving special attention to vs 10.

"In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." Luke 15:10

Like Pastor Frank, I thought God was always sitting on His throne watching over us (with exception to Stephen when he was stoned).

I never could see more than a smile on his face when I think about him..

But this scripture says that there IS rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents. Who is in the presence of the angels and who's presence do we long for each day? Gods!!! I got so excited.

I have read this passage so many time since I was in Christian school in 8th grade!! But I never saw it before.

Now I see more of who my Heavenly Father is!

As I was re-reading the passage, a song came into my heart.

God dances over us and we don't even know it.

Lets pray: Heavenly Father, allow us to know when your dancing over us! Let us hear your voice as you sing around us that we may draw closer to you and experience you presence as you are experiencing us!

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